Everyone takes classes in school for various academic subjects, but also for useful skills like shop and home economics. Unfortunately, no one ever teaches young people how to present themselves in important business or social settings, despite the fact that these can be tremendously important in determining eventual success in life. Fortunately, all those under-educated graduates can put a capstone on their years by reading books on small talk.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
By comparison, those making the move into the professions from a working class background might be talented and have a great work ethic, but because of that background might lack skill in light conversation. A stock literary figure remains the newly-arrived industrialist who lacks in "breeding, " who is simply too rich not to be invited to the parties, but is broadly unpopular. This sort is usually marked by his coarse use of language.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
The business world provides all sorts of situations in which talent at breezy conversation can really give one an edge. No small number of success stories begin with a good impression made on the right person while standing together on the same street corner. On top of this is the more obvious business occasion, such as wining and dining a client, an interview for a job, or banter before the close of a sale.
Life is full of scenarios that seem breezy on the surface, but which quietly seethe with tension. For an up and coming poet, an established poet's reading can be a place where one makes all important contacts. But this must always be done with a casual air, without seeming like one is too obviously "on the make."
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
The most coarse behavior of all is to ignore people who are not useful to one's ambitions. Befriending any and all, at least for the length of a party, is the best way to make oneself a valued guest. The best way to uncover whether one has made a success of oneself at the party is whether one is invited to future parties.
There is a distinct minority of people among us who simply seem to have a gift for making a dinner party shine with their conversation. Often enough, these turn out to be those raised in upper middle class or just plain upper class families, among whom effective light talk is a matter of training. Most will admit that one of the advantages inherent in an Ivy League background is not about academic excellence at all, but rather, in being trained to talk about nothing in an engaging way.
By comparison, those making the move into the professions from a working class background might be talented and have a great work ethic, but because of that background might lack skill in light conversation. A stock literary figure remains the newly-arrived industrialist who lacks in "breeding, " who is simply too rich not to be invited to the parties, but is broadly unpopular. This sort is usually marked by his coarse use of language.
It isn't difficult to imagine, or for that matter simply recall, situations in which it is to one's advantage to be able to make light conversation. An obvious example is dating, which includes everything from an effective flirtation in a movie line to give and take during an actual date. It includes everything from flirting to pick up lines.
The business world provides all sorts of situations in which talent at breezy conversation can really give one an edge. No small number of success stories begin with a good impression made on the right person while standing together on the same street corner. On top of this is the more obvious business occasion, such as wining and dining a client, an interview for a job, or banter before the close of a sale.
Life is full of scenarios that seem breezy on the surface, but which quietly seethe with tension. For an up and coming poet, an established poet's reading can be a place where one makes all important contacts. But this must always be done with a casual air, without seeming like one is too obviously "on the make."
The jokes have to be funny, but not scandalous, and by all means, not familiar. It is important to be interested in a wide range of topics, but not fanatical or passionate about any of them. A good rule of thumb is to hold within oneself a desire to make each person one encounters pleased to have done so.
The most coarse behavior of all is to ignore people who are not useful to one's ambitions. Befriending any and all, at least for the length of a party, is the best way to make oneself a valued guest. The best way to uncover whether one has made a success of oneself at the party is whether one is invited to future parties.
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